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Tonight I cried. Yesterday was my 20th birthday. Tonight I was on the phone with a girl that I have been talking to ever since I was 15, -- a span of about 4 years, but ONLY on the Internet. She's in another country.In the past 2 years we've gotten really close, and yet it hurts so bad because she is the ONLY one I have.
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A First Date Idea:
You have no idea how glad I was to hear that I haven't blown it with this girl. You mentioned that she's open to me if I make the right advances and moves. Can you give me a first date idea? I am totally clueless here. I've read your reports, but I'm still not completely clear on certain things.
Being playful, for instance; I'm a very driven person and am not usually relaxed. Your relaxation technique works when I'm alone, but when I get around this girl I still tense up. Do you have any suggestions for this (other than some kind of tranquilizer)? I must be sounding pretty pathetic by now, but I really don't want to blow it with this girl.
I've never met a girl like her before. Also, when I do relax enough to ask her out, can you give me a first date idea or two? Should it be something classy (symphony for instance), or something more relaxed and casual (like dinner and a movie)? Thanks Derek, I appreciate all your advice.
You can learn to relax by expanding your level of interest of women OUTSIDE from this particular girl and approaching 2 or 3 women EVERY day. You don't get big and strong by hitting the gym once a year - it's something you need to workout your muscles every week to get good. In other words, you're too focused on this one particular girl to relax very easily.
So to relax, LET GO of the idea that this girl "is the one". Let go of the idea that you may or may not blow it. RELAX and STOP CARING so much. She will sense your neediness and it will turn her off. Be cool. Yes, you want her BUT YOU DON'T NEED HER. Always remember that!
As for the first date idea, do NOT make it classy. Keep it casual. However "dinner and a movie" will set alarm bells in her head because she'll think it's a date. You are NOT taking her out on a date. You are going to HANG OUT with her and in the process of hanging out she will start to have feelings for you. Get together with her for coffee because "I'm curious about you and want to find out more about you."
Then next time you meet, cook her a little something at your place. Please let me know how the first date idea worked out for you.
Regards,
Derek